Technology

Meet Foregen, The People Who Want To Regrow Your Foreskin

There is no debate on the internet stupider than that over circumcision. We have thousands of years of data that proves losing or keeping a flap of skin off the end of your wang is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. Actual doctors who know what they are talking about have said “Eh. Do whatever. Doesn’t matter.” And yet, with the advent of the internet, a group of somewhat creepy people have banded together to cry about something that was sliced off when they were newborns. And now they’ve got a biotech nonprofit!

Foregen is a nonprofit that wants “to heal the physical and psychological damage that is inherent to circumcision.” Powered entirely by donor funds, they’re working on research that will revert adult skin cells back to their stem cell roots, and then grow a new foreskin over an extra-cellular matrix, or ECM. If this sounds familiar, that’s because it’s a technique showing quite a bit of promise in areas of actual medicine.

As for why you should donate to an organization that basically wants to do plastic surgery on your penis instead of to real medicine, the site has a response for that:

First and foremost, the demand for a cure for circumcision is overwhelming. The body part that is in highest demand for regenerative purposes in the US is the kidney. About 100,000 people are on the waiting list for one. There are approximately 1,000 times as many men (100 million) who are in need of an intact penis in the US alone! Although not all of these men are aware of Foregen’s existence yet, or even of the damage imposed upon them, they soon will be as we make progress towards regeneration.

Yes, men of America without a wangcap, you may not think you’ve been gravely injured! But clearly, you need a cure to something that you care little about, and these noble men obsessed with the tip of your penis want to give it to you. This is far more important than figuring out a new supply of donor kidneys!

If you’re detecting a thread of sarcasm in my write-up, it’s because of the bizarre lack of perspective. A lack of donor kidneys is actually killing people, and while I don’t have any hard data, I’d venture to guess that the number of medical fatalities that have happened due to lacking a foreskin might just be zero. If people want to spend money on regrowing a foreskin, really, they should be allowed to. It’s their body and their money. But if you’re so obsessed with the tip of your penis you think it’s more important than people dying, maybe the doctor you see should be seeing is a psychologist.

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