The Japanese Have Built A Bluetooth-Enabled Toilet Because Of Course They Have

The Japanese are not nearly as weird as the Internet makes them out to be. It’s kind of the equivalent of pretending America consists entirely of Juggaloes. Most Japanese people are pretty much absolutely normal, a few cultural differences aside.

That said, they do like their technologically advanced toilets. And man, they just do not get weirder than the Satis, which is a toilet that has Bluetooth and an app that can lift the seat.

Built by Japanese company Inax, this toilet has an excessively fastidious app. You can raise and lower the seat wireless, flush (which we admit would actually be useful with pretty much any toilet the public can access), turn your bidet on and off, and of course control the intensity of the latter two because let’s face it, if you’re going to pay $4500 for a toilet, you should be able to decide the exact GPF when you jiggle the handle. It will even tell you how much water and electricity you’re using per flush.

Probably the crowning achievement is that this toilet comes with speakers. So you can stream music, from your smartphone, to your toilet.

We’re guessing that this is less public demand and more along the lines of “We can do this because we can.” Because, really, streaming music over Bluetooth to your toiler’s speakers probably will not give you the best sound quality. Also, you probably do not want to share your taste in music with other people. But if you are that lacking in class, we have a few musical suggestions:

We’re sure you can come up with more, because, let’s face it, if your guests have this toilet, they’ve probably expecting a mix. Maybe bust out some dubstep!