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‘How You Doin’?’: Celebrating The Wit Of Joey Tribbiani On ‘Friends’

Oh, Joey. You slept your way through the entire female population of New York City, casting them aside like empty sandwich wrappers, and somehow managed to avoid an STD scare. You were truly a 90s miracle like dirt cheap mega-apartments.

All jokes aside, Joey is definitely one of the most beloved of the Friends. He’s one half of one of the greatest sitcom friendships of all time and his love affair with food is the stuff of legend. He loved Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal, and the Joey Special (Two pizzas!) almost as much as he hated Chandler’s clinger girlfriend, Janice. may not have been the brightest, but Ross is living proof that brains do not necessarily make you the best Friend. Matt LeBlanc will always be Joey Tribbiani, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Even when the show lost a bit of its snap in later seasons (and in his much-maligned spin-off), Joey still managed to shoot off one-liners like a pro. Let’s take a look at some of his best.

“Okay… sex. No, food. No, uh… I want both! I want girls on bread!”

Joey was pretty defined by his appetites: girls and sandwiches. Don’t make him choose!

“Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.”

Impeccable logic.

“Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens…is that why they’re extinct?” – Joey

“Joey, homo sapiens are PEOPLE.” – Ross

“Hey, I’m not judgin’!” – Joey

It was a different time, so Friends played a little fast and loose with the gay jokes. This one is pretty solid, though.

“Here come the meat sweats…”

Eating habits have consequences. “Meat sweats” is one of the grosser ones.

“It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”

Joey’s rock solid grasp of semantics is to be admired and emulated.

“Paper…snow…..a ghost!!!”

He tried so hard. To quote Rachel: “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

“Condoms?” – Chandler

“We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.” – Joey

“And condoms are the way to do that?” – Chandler

For someone who has a steady stream of sexual partners, Joey has a terrible understanding of safe sex practices.

“I swear to god, Dad. That’s not how they measure pants!”

Joey’s tailor is a bad man.

“Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Ladyfingers? Good. Meat? GOOD!”

At first, you think that Joey is just being a supportive friend. It turns out that he just the least discerning palette on the planet.

“Look at me! I’m Chandler! Could I BE wearing any more clothes?”

Never get involved in a land war in Asia, and never get in the middle of a roommate war over the couch.

“JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD.”

Never get between Joey and his sandwiches. He even took an imaginary bullet for one.

“All you want is a dinkle, what you envy’s a schwang! A thing through which you can tinkle, to play with, or simply let hang!”

Joey is in a lot of terrible plays over the course of the show, but “Frued! The Musical” is easily the most memorable.

“‘Sup, the whack Playstation, ‘sup?!”

He may be the ultimate man-child, but even he cannot pull off an exaggerated teen stereotype.

“Over the line? You are so past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!”

Their friendship may have briefly fractured over a girl, but Joey and Chandler couldn’t stay mad at each other for long. Who else were they going to watch Baywatch with?

“How you doing’?” 

This line worked on countless women over the course of the show. Would it work on you?

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