Happy Mother’s Day! If there’s anyone out there reading this that just replied, “Thank you,” you have terrible kids. Today is your day; spend it doing things that don’t involve the Internet. Come back to us tomorrow, when the world won’t care about you for another 364 days. For everyone else: yeah, I forgot to send a card, too.
Anyway, a lot can be learned about being a good mother from watching TV. Not literally, of course, not that my sitting six inches from the screen as a kid did any long-term damage *begins drooling, tries to count the fuzzy lines swimming in my eyeballs* but from examples shown to us by the Marge Simpsons and Tami Taylors of the world. In honor of Mother’s Day, here are 15 life lessons taught to us by 15 TV show moms.
#1. Moms are right 100% of the time.
#2. Moms’ gotta do what moms’ gotta do.
#3. Moms always look on the bright side of life.
#4. Moms, no matter how awful they might otherwise be, care about their children first and foremost.
#5. Moms are great for your self-esteem.
#6. Moms should be listened to and rarely questioned.
#7. Moms never ask their children to literally shoot them in the head after giving birth.
#8. Moms are a fountain of good advice.
#9. Moms will forever see you as their little baby.
#10. Moms have loud opinions, too.
#11. Moms are quick thinkers.
#12. Moms want to be dolled up occasionally, so buy her something nice.
#13. Be happy she’s not your mom.
#14. Or her.
#15. But especially her…