All The Tina Belcher Quotes From ‘Bob’s Burgers’ You Should Be Using In Everyday Conversation

The Bob’s Burgers writers must have a field day when it comes to dreaming up dialogue for the most relatable 13-year-old sex-driven hopeless romantic on television —  Tina Belcher. She says everything most of us thought while walking through the hallways of junior high and high school, and in turn, seems more and more like we’re reading a page out of our own journal/diary each episode. With that in mind I’ve gathered some of her best quotes that we should all be using in everyday, because butts!


Everyday use: When things aren’t exactly going as planned.

“Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.”

Everyday use: When it’s inevitable that you’ll win them over.

“I’m a smart strong sensual woman.”

Everyday use: Self-affirmation.

“Time for the charm bomb to explode.”

Everyday use: When you’re pumping up your confidence.

“My heart, my heart.”

Everyday use: When there’s no pizza left for you.

“My crotch is itchy.”

Everyday use: When you want to get out of work.

“I’m no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.”

Everyday use: When you want to put on a humble front.

“Our toaster is also confused. It doesn’t know where bagels go.”

Everyday use: When you’re relating your struggles to home appliances.

“I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship.”

Everyday use: When you know exactly how your relationship will play out.

“Just when I think I’m out, those cheeks pull me right back in.”

Everyday use: When you’re reminded of why you had a crush on someone in the first place.

“Dad, I need you to drop everything and shave my legs.”

Everyday use: When there’s no one else to ask!

“Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?”

Everyday use: When everyone you see is looking good.

“Oh it’s okay, I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life.”

Everyday use: When nothing is coming up you.

“If boys had uteruses they’d be called duderuses.”

Everyday use: When you think you’re on the brink of scientific discovery.

“If you need me I’ll be down here on the floor dying.”

Everyday use: When no one understands.

“Here’s a bunch of number that may look random, but they’re my phone number.”

Everyday use: When your mouth is moving faster than your brain.

“I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever.”

Everyday use: When you’re feeling frisky.

“If he has a butt for touching and lips for kissing, I’m going for that.”

Everyday use: When you’re not aiming too high.

“If we see any mermaids I’m gonna ask them where their merginas are.”

Everyday use: When you want to know the truth.


Everyday use: BUTTS.