Fox Is Bringing A Live, Three-Hour Version Of ‘Grease’ To TV In 2015

Apparently not content to let NBC sit back and wield total control over the live televised musical money-printing machine (patent pending), Fox announced today that it’s getting involved, too, by bringing a three-hour version of Grease to the small screen at some as-yet-undetermined point next year.

Did a Fox executive take the opportunity to make lots of corny, awful Grease references in the official statement, like “I got chills, they’re multiplying. And I’m losing control. ‘Cause the announcement that we’re making… it’s electrifying”? No, they did not. And I’m livid about it. Here’s what they did say, though:

“From Broadway to film, and across generations, Grease is one of the most beloved musical stories ever told — and we can’t wait to bring it to our air in a spectacular live event,” said Shana C. Waterman, senior vp event series at Fox. “Its iconic characters and addictive songs make it the perfect fit for Fox, and we’re going to give it the kind of star power and production quality to make every Sandy, Danny, Rizzo and Kenickie out there want to get up and sing along.” [THR]

According to Fox, the musical’s famous crew of characters will be played by “a young ensemble cast,” which coupled with that “star power” in the blockquote and the fact that networks can’t resist an opportunity to cross-promote things within an inch of their lives (ex. – Sunday Night Football intro singer Carrie Underwood playing the lead in NBC’s production of The Sound of Music), means Glee star Lea Michele is probably the frontrunner to play Sandy. Fine. Great. Wonderful. And it makes even more sense if they plan to put the soundtrack on iTunes, seeing as Glee rakes in money over there and tying a popular name from one to the other might provide a nice little sales boost from the show’s fans.

BUT.

Just hear me out here.

What if, instead of doing that, they brought back 61-year-old John Travolta and a 66-year-old Olivia Newton-John as Danny and Sandy, respectively and tried to pass them off as teenagers? And what if the rest of the cast was age appropriate, making it look like the two leads are the oldest, least effective narcs in history? What if that happened? What would you even do? Because I’ll tell you what I would do: I would Watch. That. Musical.

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