Shailene Woodley Is A Homeless Tree Nymph

Shailene Woodley does not own an iPad, or a mini-keg to keep her Tall Boys cold, or an Aaron Rodgers Fathead. She lives like Roger Sterling’s daughter, taking what God’s green earth provides her, if Roger Sterling’s daughter owned a hoodie and a temporary cell phone with the number taped to the back.

On last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live, Woodley went inside a building for the first time in seven years to talk about what it’s like to be homeless; that time she befriended a talking fox who told her that the fault isn’t in our stars, it’s in our root dongs; and how her worldly possessions fit into a single carry-on suitcase.

They are as follows:

-One pair of jeans
-One hoodie
-Some tank tops, t-shirs, and leggings
-One computer
-One cellphone

Also, her grandmother resides in her house and she lives “literally on friends’ couches.” Instead of showing appreciation for their hospitality by paying for a pizza, like a normal 20-something, Woodley makes toothpaste before flying away in a magical cloud of fairy dust and homemade deodorant specks.

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