What’s On Tonight: That Show With The High School Girls Pretending To Be Lesbians

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC, 8 p.m.) — In tonight’s episode, SHIELD goes undercover to infiltrate Hydra, and they finally learn the truth behind Evil Ward’s allegiances. I think it will involve a lot of flashbacks, and hopefully less green screen than last week.

New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — SEASON FINALE. The gang goes on a cruise, and it won’t be the last we see of Coach, because he’s been upped to series regular for next season. That means that New Girl is officially 66 percent non-white male.

Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.) — “An item in a New York newspaper has Mindy thinking she’s found the man of her romantic-comedy dreams after reading his description of their encounter.” Please let it be Kevin Smith.

Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC, 10 p.m.) — Angie Stone switches places with Laila Ali. I have no idea who these celebrites are.

Fargo (FX, 10 p.m.) — When Malvo attempts to kill Colin Hanks’ deputy, he saves himself by hiding behind antique furniture.

Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) — Amy screams at a turtle. No word on whether “turtle” is a euphemism for something else.

Faking It (MTV, 10:31) — I watched the first couple of episodes of this show — about two high-school girls who decided to pretend to be lesbian girlfriends to fit in with the popular crowd — and it was actually pretty OK, although I am decidedly not the demographic.

LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Elisabeth Olsen on Letterman, Seth Rogen on Fallon, Jon Hamm on Jimmy Kimmel, Patton Oswalt on Ferguson, Ellen Page on Seth Meyers, Bette Midler on Colbert, and Christopher Meloni in Conan.

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