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I don’t know if you’ve heard, but last week Florida became the latest state to legalize gay marriage. Hooray for progress! However, in a completely Florida-like move, certain counties are now refusing to allow any marriage to spare local officials the discomfort of having to grant matrimony to two people in love who happen to be the same sex.
So in an inspired opening segment last night, invoking the most recent Florida reptile-slapping story, Jon Stewart had some choice words for local Florida officials who refuse to perform wedding ceremonies: “You live in a giant cockroach-choking, hazard-infested, Hooters-dining, reptile-abusing, Everglades-draining, election-ruining, stripper-motorboating, ball-sweat-scented, genitalia-shaped, 24-hour mugshot factory.” I believe that’s what they call a TKO.