Rob Lowe is 51 years old today, and while lately he’s been known for appearing in just about every commercial on television and narrating the excellent ESPN documentary I Hate Christian Laettner, most credit for his recent career resurgence goes to his turn as Chris Traeger, the organic food loving workout junkie who won the heart of Ann Perkins on Parks and Recreation.
So, let’s look back at some Traeger’s greatest moments in Pawnee. Is this literally the greatest Uproxx article of all-time? Eh, that seems like a bit much, but you should check it out anyway!
Despite being a major health nut, he could get sick once in awhile. And he didn’t necessarily take it well:
Let’s be honest, who hasn’t felt like the floor was their friend? Or wished that they could just “Stop. Pooping.” It’s quite possible that being so healthy all the time made it much worse for him when he finally got sick. Despite all of his superfoods, he was ultimately as vulnerable as anyone.
There was one phrase that he figuratively used like 10 billion times:
Yes, Chris was quite fond of “literally,” but to his credit, he didn’t misuse it all that often. Usually, he was just so excited about something, that in the heat of the moment, it was literally the greatest thing he had ever seen. And really, what’s wrong with just being passionate?
His workout regimen put everyone else’s to shame:
He’s ran a third of the way to the moon. His goal is to run to the moon. I’m pretty sure he just wants to run the distance between Earth and the Moon, but Chris is such an ambitious guy, he might find a way to, er… literally run all the way to the moon. I certainly wouldn’t put it past him.
He gave us the expression “boob hats:”
Hey, Chris wants to be there for Ann as she’s going through her pregnancy, but I could see where his usage of that phrase could get a bit irritating. But he’s onto something with the phrase “boob hats.” I mean, would we have freaked out so much over Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake’s Super Bowl performance if it had just been a boob hat malfunction?
Even if everybody hated the jobs he gave them, his heart was in the right place:
Okay, yeah, having Jerry lead the daily briefings was a pretty foolish idea, but in Chris’s defense, he was new to the department, and he had no way of knowing how “often mediocre” Jerry’s work was. And I still think he was onto something with that swiveling desk idea. Although, I suppose it would be a bit annoying having to climb out of it whenever you had to go to the bathroom.
Finally, he had Ann Perkins shared what was literally the greatest romance of our time:
Sure, their love story wasn’t conventional, but they made it work. In the end, all you need to know is, “Goodbye, Ann Perkins. My excellent employee. Hello, Ann Perkins. My Fallopian princess.”
