TV

Bizarre Real-Life Florida Stories Ripe For ‘Big Time In Hollywood, FL’

With all the weirdness crammed into Florida, it’s amazing that more television shows don’t make use of its setting for the bizarre. The shows and movies that have taken place in the Sunshine State have typically been dramas or thrillers: Miami Vice, Dexter, Wild Things, etc. It’s about time that a comedy — albeit a very bloody comedy — like Big Time in Hollywood, FL makes use of the dong-shaped state’s reputation for the seedy and weird.

The series follows Jack and Ben, two goofball brothers who are amateur filmmakers and have no qualms about using criminal and stupid tactics to make their dreams a reality. With all the real-life strangeness that comes out of Florida, there’s plenty to use for inspiration. Here are five Florida stories that took the internet by storm and would fit right in with Big Time:

1. Bart the zombie cat

A cat that’s right out of Pet Sematary is creepy, but this sort of pet nightmare could play perfectly with the show. Maybe the brothers are working on a horror film and think they’ve accidentally killed a cat in the process; only it’s not really dead, of course.

2. The three-boobed woman

There’s nothing criminal — at least in a court of law — about the Tampa woman who claimed to have had an additional boob surgically added, but how this piece of Florida WTF hasn’t been incorporated into a TV show is an injustice. Sure, we have the hooker from Total Recall, but Big Time would do well to bring this woman on as a guest star. They already have the big name celeb cameos (Ben Stiller, Cuba Gooding, Jr.), so how about bringing on some real-life Florida celebrities?

3. The Florida couple who was trapped in an unlocked closet

Being trapped for two days with your lover in an unlocked closet is embarrassing. However, that kind of utter stupidity is ripe for comedy. This sort of failure could probably transition well to a number of half-hour comedies: Workaholics, Always Sunny, maybe Broad City, but it’s deservedly Big Time’s for the taking.

4. The guy who shot his sister over a penis cake

The writers for Big Time could realistically just check Florida’s crime log any day of the week and probably find something to work with. (It’s worked for Law & Order for the last 20 years.) Take for example the Florida man who shot his sister in the butt with a BB gun just a few weeks ago because she baked him a penis-shaped cake. Keep the BB gun angle, or switch it out for something more lethal. It’s your call, Big Time.

5. The fedora-wearing ninja burglars

So, a group of ninjas — okay, white guys in ninja masks — were tying up and robbing wealthy Florida homeowners last year. As we all know, Florida isn’t especially known as a hotbed of ninja activity, but toss in an alligator, a few rednecks, and a stun gun for good measure, and you have a season finale that practically writes itself.

If the creators still need some inspiration, there’s always: Macho Man’s ghost, the naked guy who caused trouble at a CVS, the kid who called 911 over his PlayStation, the high school prostitution ring, Juggalos, snake-riddled rest stops, bath salt zombies, Vanilla Ice, herpes-infected monkeys, etc. I’ll be expecting a check in the mail, Big Time.

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