FlipBoard
Production note: I am leading this post with a picture of a panda climbing on stuff. I think you’ll see why.
No. NO. Absolutely not. There’s is no reason for “zombie snakes” to be a thing. Do you hear me, Mother Nature? NO.
Rattlesnake venom destroys tissues and causes crippling paralysis, sometimes leading to death. When Santa Cruz homeowner Thomas Scott encounters the deadly predator in his garage, he takes matters into his own hands. However, unlike mammals, reptile reflexes remain deadly after death. In fact, they can still bite and deliver a killing dose of venom up to an hour after being decapitated. And after Thomas delivers what he thought was a deadly blow, the snake’s head, severed from its body, continues to scan the area, waiting for an opportunity to strike. [NatGeo]
There’s video of the decapitated zombie snake at that NatGeo link if you’re a deranged crazy person who wants to see that sort of thing (I’ve watched it twice), but the video is not embeddable, so I’ll just leave this terrifying picture after the jump and go back to NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN. Suddenly that lady whose house burned down after she lit the snake on fire in her yard doesn’t seem so unreasonable.
Banner image via Shutterstock
![[avatar]](https://profilecdn-woven.netdna-ssl.com/photo/51/profile)
[gets in rocket ship, leaves planet forever]
YOU HAVE A ROCKET SHIP?!
[gets on Vespa, drives into wall]
EFF. THAT. ESS.
Right now aHollywood producer is furiously scribbling on his notepad: “Highlander crossbred with rattlesnake! Call Christopher Lambert IMMEDIATELY”
he’s available
No.
I’m not afraid of ghosts
I’m not afraid of sharks
I’m not afraid of cancer
I’m just afraid of snakes
They really creep me out
Where are they’re arms and legs?
IT’S NOT OK!
+1
Very nice.
Can I just say, I’m sort of on the fence with Bob’s Burgers, my roommate and I waver on whether or not to watch it regularly, but we agree that song is one of the greatest things ever. I have no idea how many recent arguments have ended with “It’s not o.k.!”
I read somewhere that it works with sharks, too. As in, if you cut a shark’s head off, it’ll keep biting for, like, an hour. And if you cut out its heart, it’ll keep beating.
That’s the last time I go around sawing shark’s heads off!
I thought this was common knowledge.
Nurtz to this!
OHHHH FUCK THAT. FUCK THAT FUCK THAT FUCK THAT.
Ok. Now that I’ve had time to process.
I live in West Philadelphia. Last week a man was shot over a dozen times several blocks away from my house. And yet…
/hugs ankles and rocks back and forth/ Never leaving the city again never leaving the city again never leaving the city again.
I hate it when guys up to no good start to make trouble in your neighborhood.
I think you should move in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
Fresh Prince jokes! Novel!
Related: I witnessed a task force raid on my block this morning while my dog was taking her morning constitutional. (There was even a guy who gave “the signal” who was dressed up like an extra from Grease and it was AWESOME.) I don’t know if they got the guy they were looking for, but still: No snakes in Philadelphia!
Personally, I just find this badass.
“What did you do today, Thomas?”
“Oh, just shoveled a still-snapping snake head off my driveway.”
I, personally, see this as a premonition for another Kurt Russell kick at the Plissken can.
Between this, giant japanese Wasps, those huge costa rican spiders that kill birds and the ever present threat of C.H.U.D.S, I will be armed at all times from now on.
Of course you’ll have a bad impression of life if you only focus on the insects and C.H.U.D.s.
DAMN MOTHA NATURE, YOU SCARY!
Yeah, so I’m not sleeping tonight.
Nuuuuuuuuupe.
Umm. When I clicked over to NatGeo, there was a picture of a two-headed lizard with party hats on.
[tvblogs.nationalgeographic.com]
W.T.F.
And here I thought that the two-vaginaëd lady was a freak. Damn you, nature!
I used to laugh at my grandmother (who was the most superstitious person ever) when she would tell me that snakes won’t die until after nightfall. Who’s laughing now?
That snake had the most menacing look in its eyes…
[sets house on fire]