Every Merrily Offbeat ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Christmas Episode, Ranked

12.22.18 6 months ago

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Bob’s Burgers has celebrated Christmas seven times since the show debuted in 2011. When given the opportunity, the show has done an incredible job with holiday installments, and these Bob’s Burgers episodes have it all, from horror to action to good, old fashioned fun. In the end, everything usually works out nicely for the Belchers. Teddy specifically? Not so much. It’s tough to rank these episodes because they’re so close in quality, but we did our best. Here are the show’s greatest Christmas episodes, ranked.

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7. Season 6, Episode 5 “Nice-Capades”

If you aren’t a fan of Christmas creep, then you won’t appreciate the fact that this Christmas episode aired on November 15th. That means that it wasn’t even Thanksgiving when Tina, Gene, and Louis put on a special show for a mall Santa (voiced by Henry Winkler) to remove their names off the naughty list after they unwittingly kicked him out of a massage chair. Of course, Teddy ends up playing a crab that Tina “saved.” It’s mass chaos and splendid but landed a bit too early on the calendar for comfort.

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6. Season 3 Episode 9 “Bob Rest Ye Gentle-Mannequins”

Weirdly, Bob’s Burgers didn’t get around to doing a first Christmas episode until season 3. Zach Galifinakis voiced Chet, a man who believed himself to be a mannequin come to life, living in storage unit. Faced with a $150-a-month bill, Bob decides to take Chet in. It’s a wonderful episode where the kids give up gifts, so Chet can keep his mannequin wife (who he met while creating window displays), but the really special thing to take away from the first Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode is how “go talk to Uncle Ernie” is code for “going to the bathroom.” Can you dig it?

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5. Season 9, Episode 10 “Better Off Sled”

The Belcher kids and their friends simply want to go sledding, but their plans are thwarted by teens having snowball fight at the bottom of the hill, so a fight is in order. Pots and pans are used as armor. Another varsity athlete gets involved. And then a bunch more. It is literally an arms race that ends with Louise being the biggest person. While the main story is more about winter recess, the B-story is about Linda and Bob knitting Christmas gifts with varying degrees of success. Linda’s Knitcracker dream turns into a nightmare, and Louise sums up all the Bob’s Burgers Christmas episodes madness with this line: “Santa, look away. This isn’t for your delicate eyes.”

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