Which Of These Get-Rich-Quick Schemes From ‘It’s Always Sunny’ Do You Wish Had Worked?

The new season of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia starts tonight, and to celebrate, let’s look at some of the gang’s most memorable adventures over the years. Specifically, they’re seemingly endless string of get-rich-quick schemes. The gang will do anything — other than honest work — to get wealthy, and so far, everything has failed miserably.

“Paddy’s Pub: Home Of The Original Kitten Mittens” – Original Air Date: November 5, 2009

First of all, the Kitten Mittons (that is the spelling) video that begins this episode is all sorts of hilarious, and may be the very best in the show’s long-running string of extremely low production quality videos. But there’s plenty else to love here, from Charlie and Dee’s failed attempts to stake out the lawyer (who gets everything in the end), and of course, Dennis’s ultra-creepy proposal to “toss a frame bang.” This episode features the gang at their sociopathic best.

“The Gang Exploits A Miracle” – Original Air Date: July 27, 2006

Often times, we see the gang — Mac in particular — claim to be devout Christians, and of course, knock Dee for being “pro-abortion.” But of course, they’re the most blasphemous people in the world, and when they believe the Virgin Mary has made an appearance at Paddy’s Pub, they don’t wait too long before they get into what is essentially a contest to see who can be the most evil. This episode should also be celebrated for its subplot where Dee tells Dennis he has a fat face, and he proceeds to immediately become anorexic.

“The Gang Recycles Their Trash” – Original Air Date: October 18, 2012

An episode so meta it would make Dan Harmon proud. The sanitation workers go on strike, and the Gang decides to take advantage by offering to collect the trash of rich suburban families. Naturally, things end in disaster when Frank inadvertently leads the striking workers against them. But this one is most notable for referencing several other episodes — and several other schemes — with the main point being that the show is quite literally “recycling” itself. Recycled or not, though, this one is a classic.

“The Gang Solves The Gas Crisis” – Original Air Date: September 18, 2008

This is one of the episodes mentioned in the recycling episode, and it’s certainly fine source material. Back in 2008, gas prices were well over $4, so the gang decides the best way to exploit the high prices is to steal gas from the gas station and try to sell it back to them. When that doesn’t work, they attempt to sell it lemonade stand-style. They also try door-to-door. As you might guess, none of this works, nor does the plot to frame Bruce Mathis as a terrorist. But as always, the journey to the Gang’s spectacular failure is hilarious.

“Dennis And Dee Go On Welfare” – Original Air Date: July 6, 2006

Really, all you need to do to understand this episode is look at the quote in the above picture. It’s sums up the essence of this episode, and really, the entire show. Of course, there’s also the fantastic line about the “welfare store,” and the moment of an extremely high Dennis and Dee leading a sing-a-long of “Just A Friend.” Really, everything about this episode is perfect, and if you’re looking to get your friend into the show, this is a great one to start with.

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