Bizarre String Of Baker Deaths Rock The Pastry World, So We’re Told


You can’t cook up a story like this. Not with a degree from Le Cordon Bleu. Or even one of those really good spatulas from Bed Bath & Beyond.

In what one might call a recipe for disaster, a dozen bakers have met their demise in the last few weeks – 13 total. It has everyone asking questions – like how could something like this happen? And will their rugelach orders be ready on time?

It’s virtual pandemonium.

Luckily, two promising young L.A.P.D. detectives from the Really Heinous Crimes Unit are on the case: Angie Tribeca and Jay Geils. The former, Ms. Tribeca, is known for brandishing 50 shades of lip-gloss and falling in love with every partner she’s had since the Eisenhower Administration. (Strange because she wasn’t even alive then.)

As for Geils, rumor has it that he’s tall and his blood runs cold because his angel is a centerfold. Here’s the hard data proving that.

Tribeca and Geils arrived at the scene to find the latest baker body getting its chalk outline done with Reddi-Wip — the proverbial icing on the death. As for cause of death, at first, the conclusion was a suicide – death by pastry bag.

But that wasn’t it. After further evaluation, Dr. Edelweiss in the coroner’s department made a startling revelation. “You see these holes…I’m thinking that somebody fired a gun into them.”


Turns out, the baker had seemingly been murdered – and not by a disgruntled female customer who was recently denied the chance to have her cake and eat it too.