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Absolute Proof That Pam Poovey Is The Most Baller Part Of ‘Archer’

Casual fans of Archer, FX’s raunchy spy comedy, often make the mistake that the hero of the show is its title character, Sterling Archer, but they would be incorrect. The real hero of Archer is the office’s HR director, Pam Poovey. In the pilot episode, Pam was a throwaway character, just another character to populate the organization formerly known as ISIS, but it didn’t take very long for the world to realize that Pam (who is voiced by Amber Nash) is simply the best. Archer’s big, blonde, bisexual bombshell can out-drink, out-drive, and party harder than anyone else on the show, and somehow, she manages to keep surprising audiences with her unbelievable life outside the office.

Read on for Pam Poovey’s most baller moments on Archer.

That Time Everyone Was Rescuing Archer From Pirates And Pam Went Out For Margaritas

At the beginning of season 3, Archer runs off to the tropics and refuses to return to ISIS. Rather than let him be, Malory sends bounty hunter pilot Rip Riley to bring him home, but Archer isn’t having it. Thanks to Archer’s idiocy, the plane crashes, they are captured by pirates, and Mallory sends Lana and Ray to save them.

Is Pam concerned for Archer’s safety? Not really, so she ducks out early for margaritas and twisty straws.

That Time Pam Was A Stone-Cold Killer

In “El Secuestro”, Pam is mistaken for Cheryl, heir to a railroad fortune, and she gets kidnapped and held for a ransom. Fortunately, her kidnappers can’t throw a decent punch, and even if they could, Pam knows how to take a punch. She put herself through college by slugging it out in underground fight clubs.

The kidnappers quickly discover their mistake and demand a ransom for Pam. Malory offers them a measly $5,000, and Pam goes into a rage. When she finally gets back to ISIS, Pam vows to beat $5,000 out of Malory, and then she strips down naked, revealing an elaborate back tattoo:

“For the angel of death spread his wings on the blast and breathed in the face of the foe as he passed; and the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill and their hearts but once heaved and forever grew still!”

She also has 13 dash marks tattooed on the back of her neck, presumably for the 13 unlucky souls that she has killed with her bare hands.

That Time Pam Was Prepared For Anything

Being the HR rep for a spy organization is hard work, especially with a notorious womanizer (Archer) and food rapist (Krieger) on staff. Like the Girl Scouts, however, Pam Poovey is always prepared for anything. Most HR reps have a doll in their office for sexual harassment claims. Pam has a bunch of dolls because, as she puts it, she needs to be prepared in case of a gang rape. It is that kind of thinking that puts her a cut above the typical human relations department.

That Time Pam Was Too Fast And Furious

Not only is Pam a successful underground fighter, she is also a champion in the underground racing scene. She might have been out of the game for awhile, but the Yakuza still remember her. When Archer’s birthday spy car is stolen, Pam is the only person who offers a solid lead with the Yakuza. She even gets the team into one of the Yakuza’s underground races, and her plan works until Archer blows it all to hell.

That Time Pam Was The Best Archer Ever Had

Better than Lana, better than Katya, and better than all of Archer’s one-night stands, Pam is the best Archer ever had. Archer admits it after spending the night with Pam at the strip club, checking out the ladies while enjoying beers and stacks of waffles, and then having mind-blowing sex back at his place. The only logical explanation for why Pam is single is that she refuses for all her awesomeness to be tied down.

That Time Pam Snuck On A Space Ship And Saved Everyone From Bryan Cranston

In “Space Race Part 1 and 2,” Archer and most of the team head into space with an evil scientist/space pirate, played by Bryan Cranston. Pam and Cheryl aren’t invited along, but they don’t need an invitation. They sneak on-board. When the mission inevitably goes south, Pam saves the day, like the baller she is, and she still has time for a zero-gravity quickie with Archer.

That Time Pam Had A Four-Way With Yakuza Gangsters

Remember Pam’s history with the Yakuza? It turns out she spent quality time with the Yakuza outside of the underground races, including a crazy night with three very naked gangsters and Pam in the middle.

That Time Pam Had A Blunt And A Whole Crock Pot Of Spaghetti And Meatballs For Lunch

In “El Contador,” Archer gives a peek into the ISIS lunch room, and as with everything in life, Pam doesn’t do lunch half-assed. No, she smokes a big ol’ blunt and eats an entire crock pot of spaghetti and meatballs. After finding out about the office’s drug testing, she gets super sick/high on Krieger’s “herbal tea cleanser” and then rips out a toilet so she can kill her Decepticon hallucination.

That Time Pam Fit Four Pool Balls In Her Mouth

Pam is a woman of many talents, and one of them happens to be fitting four pool balls in her mouth. As far as party tricks go, it is fairly impressive. It’s even more impressive considering she did it in “Tragical History” after downing her own supply of Jägermeister, but really, it’s just a typical night out for Pam Poovey.

That Time Krieger Recruited Pam For His Bum Shock Fights

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure I know what a bum shock fight is, but Krieger wants Pam to be a part of it. Also, it somehow involves electrified boxing gloves, and Pam is training by punching dead pigs with lightning. If the Archer writers don’t plan on showing Pam’s bum shock fights, maybe they can put it on the Blu-ray special features.

That Time Pam Delivered A Baby In A War Zone

When Lana goes into labor in the season 5 finale, Pam steps up and delivers that baby like a calf on her family’s dairy farm. In between Lana’s contractions, she also sneaks in a Robert Newton Peck reference. Unfortunately, nobody else gets it. Apparently, ISIS agents don’t read a lot of young adult fiction.

That Time Pam Got Kicked Out Of Jamaica

Jamaica is a pretty easy-going culture, but Pam was too much for the Caribbean island to handle. In “A Going Concern,” Pam reveals that she got kicked out of Jamaica, but she still has a head of blonde cornrows, a souvenir shirt, and some really good weed.

That Time Pam Described Her Perfect Day

Pam’s perfect day includes a whole lot of eating, f—-ing, and watching Every Which Way But Loose. In short, she is doing everything right.

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