The Sterling Archer Guide To Love And Romance

Maybe it’s just part of being a secret agent (the world’s best secret agent, according to him) but it seems like there’s no limit to the amount of romantic attention that Sterling Archer gets. You yourself may have wondered, over the course of the past seven seasons of FX’s Archer, what exactly his secret was. Certainly, it couldn’t all have been the James Bond-like demeanor, suave tuxedo (or occasional tactle-neck), and dangerous allure, could it?

Turns out, while all that certainly did play a role, there was something about the way Sterling would casually approach people without adhering to your more… social conventions. While you’re not going to follow him to the letter (you’ll see why soon enough), here’s are a few examples Sterling Archer has set up to help guide you to a more productive love life.

Don’t Be Afraid To Talk To People

“A secret agent! That’s what I am! And I shouldn’t even be saying that. But you have a certain… thickness about you that I find appealing.”

Okay, let’s start out by ignoring the fact that the woman in this situation was, in fact, a male IRA terrorist in disguise. With that out of the way, this situation shows one of the biggest characteristics Archer has that allows him to do so well romantically: his confidence. Granted, he admits to being pretty drunk — they don’t call it ‘liquid courage’ for nothing — but inebriated or otherwise, you can’t deny that Sterling is most certainly not shy when it comes to approaching people. While you may want to hold back on the sauce a bit (a lot), don’t hesitate to put yourself out there and talk to new people. You never know where it might lead.

Don’t Skimp On The Experience Of Learning About Someone Before Things Get Intimate

“You may remember me from the strip club, or hopefully, also from what was hands down the most incredible sex I have personally ever had.”

Nothing pairs better with a dose of confidence than a little bit of genuine gratitude after spending an incredible night with someone. While those hazy mornings afterward are usually synonymous with being kind of quiet, with a kind of overtone of shy embarrassment, Archer wastes no time wandering and re-introduces himself while giving a glowing review of the night he’d just had with… someone he just can’t quite remember. Even though it turns out to be Pam Poovey (Amber C. Nash), which is something that Archer has trouble coming to terms with, you can’t deny his initial charm here.

Regardless of who that person is behind your bathroom door, ditch the embarrassment and really just embrace the reckless mystery of it all.

Celebrate What’s Working

“It’s like the danger makes it so much hotter!”

Okay, sure, Archer may be stating the obvious here (it seems like everyone has at least one clandestine relationship at some point just for the fun of secrecy), but when something’s working, why not be open about it? When you find yourself in a relationship that’s going well, there’s no reason you can’t celebrate it.

Don’t Give Up When Your Relationship Is Tested

“Even if you were, I wouldn’t care. I love you… but you’re not, right?”

The longer you’re in a relationship with someone, and the more serious that relationship becomes, the more likely it is that you and your partner will find yourselves on opposite ends of something. With Archer and his one-time fiance, Katya (Ona Grauer), this comes about when it’s “revealed” that Katya is a double agent, infiltrating ISIS for the Russians, while she claims it’s all an elaborate conspiracy to get rid of her. While Archer might waffle on whether or not he believes Katya’s telling the truth, he’s utterly confident in how he feels about her regardless.

It’s moments like these where you get to test the strength of your love and commitment to one another. Although maybe with a bit less second-guessing on your part.

Don’t Hesitate To Pay A Compliment

“You look amazing. I mean… relatively speaking.”

Here’s one you can learn from: When Archer agrees to accompany Pam to her terrible sister’s wedding (with an enthusiastic ‘Screw it, I’ll go’), he’s stunned by her appearance. When he tells Pam that she looks amazing, you can tell it comes from a genuine place, which was reflected in his flattery. Of course, Archer ends up taking it a little too far and ends up turning an actual compliment into a backhanded one.

There’s that old saying about honesty being the best policy, but in situations like these, you’ll find tact to be a much better one.

Don’t Be Shy About Asking For Advice

“Burt Reynolds Is My Spiritual Guide.”

Let’s get serious for a minute. Anyone wondering what the real secret to love and romance Archer-style is all right here. A good spiritual guide is essential, but Burt Reynold as a spiritual guide will do you no wrong.

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