Let’s begin with a few preliminary notes again:
- For the second week in a row, Larry King went on a 30+ tweet run late on a Sunday night. This one was even longer than last week’s. Larry King has a lot on his mind.
- I was ready to declare this week’s rant inferior to last week’s, but then Larry tapped out “The fear of a colonoscopy is unwarranted” and “Bring back the miniskirt!” within five minutes of each other, and now I just don’t know.
- You know you’ve done something special when you feel the need to post a video of you explaining that you’re not drunk, which he did at the end of his rant.
- Larry King still has his suspenders on at 11:00 p.m. I feel like that’s important.
Take it away, you beautiful maniac.
I like the smell of turpentine.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I've never really had a backache.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Brad Pitt is finally being recognized for his acting, and not his looks.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I can't stop thinking about the movie Interstellar.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Does anybody still wear a pocket watch?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
When was the last time you saw someone smoking a pipe?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Quick; name the heavyweight boxing champion.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
The stock market is legalized gambling.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Sue me, but I don't like buttered popcorn.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I still like the black & white movies.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Why has the world forgotten Arthur Godfrey?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
They don't make 'em like the Lone Ranger anymore.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I love black licorice.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I know about tonsils, but what is an adenoid?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I used to be able to name every member of the US Senate.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Are you enjoying my Sunday night ramblings?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I'm glad Rosie O'Donnell is back on The View.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
.@joelmchale is a funny, funny guy.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Can you hum rap music?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
The proudest thing in my life is parenthood.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I don't know why, but I've never enjoyed drinking water.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
My favorite pie is lemon meringue.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Bob Costas is a great broadcaster.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I really admire firefighters.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
My wife's least favorite food are leeks, and I don't know what leeks are.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
The only time I eat Junior Mints is at the movies.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I've been having a hard time finding Nestlé's Crunch bars lately.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Honey Nut Cheerios is the only Cheerios flavor for me.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I wish I could play the piano.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Has any rock concert ever started on time?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
The fear of a colonoscopy is unwarranted.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I've heard catfish is a delicacy in the South, but please don't serve it to me.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Changing clocks twice a year should be a national holiday.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Do they still throw rice at weddings?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Bring back the miniskirt!
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I still get excited when the mailman shows up.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
Kiev is a hell of a town.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I know it's pretty, but I'm not a fan of snow.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
How do they know that no two snowflakes are alike?
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
If I had one superpower, I'd like to be invisible.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
My favorite Chinese dish is Cashew Chicken.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
I've never driven a tractor.
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
And as Ron Burgundy would say, stay classy San Diego!
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 27, 2014
