Broad City (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) — Like every millennial in your Facebook feed, Abbi and Ilana are just trying to deal with their wardrobe malfunctions while looking for a public restroom on their way to a gallery opening.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX, 10:00 p.m.) — The McPoyles are suing Bill Ponderosa in a lawsuit that hopefully involves plenty of bird law references.
The Middle (ABC, 8:00 p.m.) — Sue’s trying to go steady with Logan and World War III breaks out when Mike shushes Frankie in public.
Arrow (The CW, 8:00 p.m.) — Team Arrow uncovers the blueprint for HIVE’s plan while Oliver starts to feel a little guilty about not telling Felicity about his son. Probably about time, wouldn’t you say?
American Idol (FOX, 8:00 p.m.) — The second half of the remaining 24 contestants give it the ol’ college try.
Survivor (CBS, 8:00 p.m.) — Still a show. The 928th season premieres tonight.
The Mysteries of Laura (NBC, 8:00 p.m.) — Laura and Jake are on crowd (and death threat) control when a foreign dignitary comes to town.
The Goldbergs (ABC, 8:30 p.m.) — Turns out that Dana’s not really that into Weird Al Yankovic, so Adam (rightfully) begins to question the whole foundation of their relationship.
Supernatural (The CW, 9:00 p.m.) — Dean plays U-571 when he convinces Lucifer to send him back in time to 1944 to carry out a World War II submarine mission.
Modern Family (ABC, 9:00 p.m.) — Men are a jealous breed in the Dunphy clan as Phil takes a step back now that Claire’s the primary breadwinner, and Jay tries to deal with the fact that men are ogling his wife’s likeness on a hot sauce ad.
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.) — Dre buys Zoey a car and immediately regrets his decision while Jack and Diane try to go their own separate ways considering they’ve been together since they were in the womb.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9:00 p.m.) — The Internet is a terrifying place, so of course Benson and Co. unearth an online community of pedophiles.
Code Black (CBS, 10:00 p.m.) — If SVU didn’t offer you enough fictional pedophilia, tune in to see Christa treat a troubled teen who reports being abused at a camp.
American Crime (ABC, 10:00 p.m.) — Anne learns what an incredible luxury privacy can be when an anonymous schmuck posts her medical history online.
Suits (USA, 10:00 p.m.) — Mike and Harvey butt heads over who’s most capable of defending Mike in court, and Louis is still trying to wipe his hands of Sheila.
Man Seeking Woman (FXX, 10:30 p.m.) — Josh has finally worked up the nerve to try to express his feelings for Rosa. Ah, to be young and in love.
Late Night Guests
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert — Kate Hudson, Richard Dreyfuss, Gov. John Kasich and Courtney Barnett
The Late Late Show With James Corden — Ryan Reynolds, Katie Holmes, Judd Apatow and Lianne La Havas
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon — J.Lo, Snoop Dogg and Zayn
Jimmy Kimmel Live — Megan Fox, Ben McKenzie and Chris Stapleton
Late Night With Seth Meyers — Will Ferrell, Hannibal Buress and Dustin Lynch