Cheryl Tunt Lines For When You Have No Filter

Throughout Cheryl Tunt’s time on FX’s Archer — whether she was woefully pining for Sterling (H. Jon Benjamin) or celebrating her train-wreck-like descent into madness — one thing has been quite clear: the Judy Greer-voiced character is used to saying whatever pops into her mind. Should you be in a situation where you absolutely need to let people know how you feel, let these lines from Cheryl inspire you to push past the barriers of appropriateness and ignore your shoddy filter. Though, you may want to warn some of your more sensitive friends to cover their earballs.

“Just say the right stuff and they just send you to a mental hospital for ten months.”

First off, to establish a baseline understanding of Cheryl’s behavior, this is the philosophy that she calmly explains to Ray (Adam Reed) and Pam (Amber Nash) one night while encountering several police officers with their guns drawn and demands that she put her hands up. Not only is Cheryl not phased by any of this, but it becomes pretty clear that this approach has allowed her to get away with just about anything over the years. It’s also the line you might want to use with the most caution should you actually try and test out how accurate it is.

“Oh my god, how much cancer was in him? This is so boring and forever-taking!”

When you know someone who is struggling with something serious and life-threatening, it can really take its toll on everyone. Especially Cheryl, who’s tortured by the idea of having to wait around in a hospital waiting room to get the results of Archer’s surgery. Even as Malory (Jessica Walters) keeps telling Cheryl that she can leave, she outright scoffs at the idea. That’s Cheryl in a nut-shell: well-intentioned enough to want to be there, but still expecting everything to happen on her schedule. Plus, there’s the added bonus of using a phrase like “forever-taking” to really help get your point across.

“Because babies are soft-skulled, fat little germ sacks, now we’ve all been exposed to that one’s bacteria.”

While Cheryl may be a running tally of bizarre character traits, her complete overreaction over the presence of a baby in the office of ISIS headquarters (back when there was an ISIS headquarters) was one of her most surprising. Being averse to baby germs is perfectly normal, but you might want to avoid saying something like this out loud on the off-chance that there are any new parents within earshot.

“Where isn’t the bathroom? Am I right?”

Oh, Cheryl, so delightfully carefree — and just mentally unhinged enough that you can imagine her really living out this declaration almost anywhere she goes. The best part about a quote like this is you can inflect it with a certain graceful charm. Just don’t act on it though. That’d be weird.

“I don’t know what that means, Pam. I didn’t grow up on a cheese farm.”

Should you ever find yourself hearing an expression you’re not familiar with, like Pam referring to the “dog in a manger” when talking to Cheryl, a quote like this can do wonders. After all, if Cheryl can’t be bothered to learn a new turn-of-phrase, then you certainly can’t be expected to, either. Although, you should make note that it is actually called a dairy.

“You really spent your entire inheritance on… the poors?”

It was a shock to all of her co-workers when it was revealed that Cheryl was exceedingly wealthy, and slated to split a billion-dollar inheritance with her brother, Cecil (Eugene Mirman), thanks to her family’s railroad fortune. It wasn’t much of a shock, however, when Cheryl revealed her sentiments about her brother’s philanthropy. Not having a filter isn’t always about being shocking, but it is about letting your true feelings known.

“Please! If you really cared, you’d resign, but there’s no way you ever will because you’re just counting days until her face is bloated and yellow from liver failure, she calls you to her deathbed and in a croaky whisper explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS and you weep shameful tears because this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know.”

Cheryl’s never been terribly verbose, and most of her irate, filterless declarations have been quick and to the point. However, she unexpectedly reveals this side of herself when Lana tries to rally her and Pam to help her talk Malory out of her plan to blow up an oil pipeline in Turkmenistan. Suddenly, Cheryl goes on a detailed, almost prophetic takedown that not only obliterates Lana’s environmental idealism but her very soul, too. Sure, it might be a little wordy for an off-the-cup quip, but if you truly have no filter, the words will come — whether you’re aware that you’re talking or not.

“Sorry, ignore me. My whole thing is I just crave attention.”

Not having a filter is one thing, but maintaining self-awareness of your true intentions will only come in handy should you need to explain yourself.

“You’re not my supervisor!”

This phrase is used so often, and it so succinctly sums up Cheryl’s flagrant disregard for authority and her wildly unpredictable behavior — it’s practically her battle cry. And that being the case, then why not let it be your battle cry, as well? And why not, chances are, most of these people around you aren’t your supervisor anyway. One last heads up — this might not go over well with your actual supervisor. Consider yourself warned.

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