A Ranking Of Comics Who Would Absolutely Destroy You In A Roast

Presented By
'Comedy Knockout' on truTV

Getty Image

There are few times in life when it’s okay to absolutely destroy someone verbally. A political attack ad, a rap beef or really any talk show on Fox. Roasts are also one of those times. Some seriously degrading sh*t has been said on roast podiums that would otherwise inspire fist fights. And it’s all in the name of “roasting the ones we love.”

Well, that’s the justification, at least.

No doubt why comedy roasts were invented — for comedians to redirect anger, resentment and palpable disdain into an entertaining format. Whereas the new truTV show Comedy Knockout showcases all sorts of talented, up-and-coming comics skewering all sorts of things, some legendary comics have exuded enough hate to earn their place on the Mount Rushmore of Mean.

But who are today’s top offenders? To reward your curiosity, we’ve taken the liberty of ranking the comics who we would never want on our roast dais due to their mastery of the putdown.

7) Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Triumph makes the list for the sheer fact that it would be humiliating to be roasted by a puppet. Under normal circumstances, that sounds cute. But when that puppet is Triumph, the cigar-smoking insult-comic dog, all cute bets are off. The Robert Smigel-voiced Triumph has taken aim at all sorts of people over the years — usually celebs — “pooping on them” with a style reminiscent of the Dean Martin roasts of yesteryear. A putdown by this pooch would be particularly ruff.

Around The Web