Katie Couric, On Her Date With Larry King: Larry Lunged At Me

Here are the facts, as laid out by Katie Couric on The Jimmy Kimmel Show:

Back when she was about 30, Katie Couric put on her best leather skirt and went out on a date with a 50-something, fresh-off-a-quadruple-bypass-having, Lincoln Towncar-driving Larry King, who ordered veal poached in chicken stock at dinner because that is an excellent and normal thing to order if you are trying to bang a 30-year-old in a leather skirt. As they were headed home, Katie noticed they weren’t headed toward her apartment and asked Larry where they were going, to which Larry replied, “My place” before presumably shouting “YOU’RE ON THE AIR!” out of habit.

Once inside Larry’s apartment, Katie noticed that the walls were decorated with memorabilia from various Larry King Days, including keys to a number of cities, which, for the record, is exactly what I would do if I had keys to a bunch of cities. “Hey, what’s that”? people would say, to which I would respond, “That, my dear, is the key to a little city called Cleveland,” and then everyone would “Ooo” and “Ahh” while I had my personal robot bartender makes us drinks. “Better make those doubles, Blorptender 5000. I know how this crowd gets.” Then we’d all laugh and laugh.

ANYWAY, so Larry gets Katie back to his shrine apartment, and he makes his move. Sayeth Katie: “So we sat there and what can I say? He lunged.” LUNGED! LARRY KING LUNGED! AT KATIE COURIC! (NOTE: I fully expect “The Larry King Lunge” to be a meme and/or dance by Monday.) And then…

“I started laughing a little because the whole situation was like out of a bad Lifetime movie. So I said ‘Larry, you’re such an interesting, nice man but I would like to meet someone a little closer to my age. He said, ‘That’s okay cause when I like, I really like.’”

OH GOD THAT IS SO CREEPY I LOVE IT. Larry King is basically Christopher Walken in those old “Continental” sketches on SNL, but with suspenders instead of a robe, and keys to various cities adorning his walls instead of art.

(via NY Post)