David Spade Encountered The Grossest Airplane Passenger Ever

David Spade was en route to New York City for an appearance on The Tonight Show this week after hosting the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe over the weekend (which will air on Labor Day), when comedic material inadvertently found him. We all know that airplanes are disgusting germ farms in the first place, which is the reason you always get sick when you travel, however, Spade encountered one first class passenger who apparently felt so comfortable that he not only walked freely around the cabin without shoes on, but actually entered the bathroom — on several occasions — completely barefoot.

If that wasn’t enough to make your gag reflex heave as it is, maybe Spade’s colorful commentary will do the trick, as he elaborated to Jimmy Fallon, “See, I know it’s gross in there, cause I was in there, and I’m not really nailing it in there, you know what I’m talking about? Like, I’m– no, but I’m pretty good at it, I’m not in the Olympics, you know what I mean?” And that’s before he even got to the part about “rich a-holes peeing all over the walls” and “squishy feet.”

Nope, nope, nope. No thank you. Spade also documented the experience on Instagram just in case anyone didn’t believe him, taking care to crop out the guy’s face so he wouldn’t get sued (again).