There’s not much more that can be said about Eaten Alive, the televised letdown of the century. But let’s just say that I would not want to be Paul Rosolie this morning, who is most likely the most hated man in America right about now. Discovery probably knew full well this backlash was coming, however, since literally the only thing they promised in the title of their special did not actually happen.
Reminder, here is what Rosolie said in an interview prior to the airing of the special:
I am actually not allowed to say anything. I can tell you that the thing beat the sh*t out of me and constricted me. As for as actual consumption went, I’m not allowed to say.
Sucks to be that guy.
So, without a doubt, I’m almost positive that Discovery had the following statement, which was released to Entertainment Weekly this morning, prepared WELL before the airing of Eaten Alive:
Paul created this challenge to get maximum attention for one of the most beautiful and threatened parts of the world, the Amazon Rainforest and its wildlife. He went to great lengths to send this message and it was his absolute intention to be eaten alive. Ultimately, after the snake constricted Paul for over an hour and went for his head, the experiment had to be called when it became clear that Paul would be very seriously injured if he continued on. The safety of Paul, as well as the anaconda, was always our number-one priority.
OK, fair point, but then maybe just say, leave your marketing messaging a little bit more ambiguous than stating that a man “enters the belly of an anaconda” — when in fact, he gets bopped on the helmet by an anaconda’s face a couple of times. I guess “Bopped Alive” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
Meanwhile, leave it to Patton Oswalt to have the best take from this whole thing:
"Ooooh, Ya broke yer cherry!" — @TLC to @Discovery, this morning.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 8, 2014
