Dish Network Drops AMC, Now No One Is the One Who Knocks

The fifth and final season of “Breaking Bad” debuts in less than two weeks. Seeing as we’re currently in the early-summer, post-“Mad Men,” post-“Game of Thrones,” mid-“Burn Notice” doldrums, this will be a very welcome addition to the television schedule. Unless of course you are a Dish Network subscriber, in which case it might be like repeatedly getting kicked in the shins by someone who is really, really good at shin-kicking, because Dish has dropped AMC after a months-long dispute over rates or an old lawsuit or something.

Dish threatened to drop the channels in May, saying AMC was charging too much for shows with limited viewership. AMC contends that Dish is cutting off its networks as a response to litigation stemming from a 2008 lawsuit that may cost the satellite company $2.5 billion.

“Dish has not discussed rates with us at all,” AMC said in today’s statement. Dish customers have lost some of their favorite shows because of an unrelated lawsuit which has nothing at all to do with our programming.” [Ad Age]

The silver lining in all this, if you are the type of person who views the glass as half full even when the glass is actually a puddle on the floor with mosquitoes circling it, is that Dish is replacing AMC with HDNet, meaning viewers will now have access to thought-provoking programs like “Drinking Made Easy” and “Bikini Barbershop,” among others. It’s like that old Tinseltown saying goes, “If you can’t give people a critically-acclaimed series about violent meth dealers in the American Southwest, try to give them shows about cocktails and ladies cutting hair in their bathing suits. That oughta shut ’em up. Hey, speaking of broads, did you guys see the caboose on that new intern? My God, what I wouldn’t give for three days on an island with her. I would leave my wife and kids for her in a heartbeat. Seriously, I would. Hold on, what’s that in your pocket? Wait, you’re not recording this, are you? WHAT THE?! Give me that recorder! Get back here! I was joking!” I’ve seen it a million times.