03.11.09 10 years ago 10 Comments

“How about those auto executives?”

As if things weren’t already bad enough in Detroit, next month Jay Leno will give a free performance for the unemployed in America’s fastest-crumbling city.  Well, actually, it won’t be in Detroit.  That would be far too dangerous.  The show will be held at The Palace in nearby Auburn Hills.

The NBC “Tonight Show” host said on Monday’s show the April 7 performance will be for “anybody out of work in Detroit.” People only have to say they’re unemployed to get tickets.

Refreshments and parking also will be free when “Jay’s Comedy Stimulus Plan” comes to the home of the NBA’s Detroit Pistons.

Given Michigan’s nation-leading 11.6% unemployment rate, Leno’s jokes will be just what the crowd needs to get that final little bit of courage to kill themsleves.

NOTE: This post took forever to put together because I sifted through so many photos of Detroit’s urban blight.  “Do I want an abandoned auto plant or an empty city block?  Ooh!  I need snow!  Definitely snow!  Yes!  A ratty couch on the street!”  That went on for about half an hour.  For more on Detroit’s dystopian predicament, check out Rolling Stone’s recent profile by Mark Binelli.  It’ll cheer you right up.

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