Don’t Worry Everyone Because Charlie Sheen Has Got Brian Williams’ Back

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People have had varied reactions to the suspension of Brian Williams — from justification to sympathy to pointing out how the witch hunt leading up to his departure reflects an overall hypocrisy in mainstream media. Team Williams just picked up one more member, however, because Charlie Sheen of all people has come to the defense of the beleaguered newsman, and he has got THINGS TO SAY.

Mr. Sheen reached out to TMZ to get his message to Brian Williams and the world at large, and as always they were happy to oblige him. Here’s his statement unedited in full:

Dear Mr. Williams, Sorry to bother you during this most surreal, unjust and mercurial moment in your awesome life. First off, THANK YOU, for 24 years of inimitable professionalism and top shelf brilliance, as a stone cold passion driven and (PERFECTLY) fact based journalist.

Secondly, Thank you “squared” for delivering not only the news on a nightly basis, (PERFECTLY) to myself and my family. But for every other person alive, (with a TV) who relied and still do, on your poetic, insightful and NOBLE sacrifices, that made our longest nights shorter, and our shortest nights safer.

You good sir, are a hero in my “Entire Library”

Lastly; you are clearly the victim of a transparent and vile witch hunt! Erroneously “staged” by hooligans, non coms, cowards and oligarchs, who’s only desperate and hideous goal is to discredit the genius that they relied on for almost 3 decades!

Now and forever you are a true Patriot and a Hero of mine until the day i leave this star crossed imperfect Rock we call Earth…

Mr W: respect love hi 5’s and refuge! (if you need it!) I remain humbly and on dangerous standby at your service…. I am; the MaSheen….

A victim of a witch hunt staged by “non coms, cowards and oligarchs”? Huh. Sounds like someone else we know. Maybe part of the reason Charlie Sheen is coming to bat like this is because he sees a little bit of himself in this Williams kid.

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