Down with Dick: Choose Your Ideal New Year’s Eve Host

12.28.11 6 years ago 22 Comments

HOLY CRAP. Not that anyone outside of the morons in Times Square actually watches more than a minute of it, but the New Year’s Eve specials this year are TERRIBLE. I mean, they’re terrible every year, but they seem particularly terrible this year. Or should I say next year? Hi-yo!

That’s the kind of joke you should expect from your esteemed New Year’s Eve hosts, like Carson Daly (with special guests Tony Bennett and Jessie J) on NBC, or Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest (with blink-182, LMFAO,, and other kids these days with their obnoxiously spelled groups) on ABC, or whoever’s hosting “American Country New Year’s Live” on FOX. Garth Brooks, probably. Not to mention just everything on MTV.

You dead-eyed it, Fry. So, my question to you on this dreadfully slow news day: if you could choose anyone (or anything) to host a New Year’s Eve special, who would it be? Would you go the obvious route and pick Alison Brie? Would you reunite the casts of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” or “Party Down” to do the honors? How about a group of corgis stacked on top of another one in a trench coat? Hell, I’d pay to see that. My choice is…

Guy knows how to party AND he’d call out everyone waiting in the cold for hours just to be on TV.

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