Drake Narrates The World’s Worst ‘American Ninja Warrior’ Contestant On ‘SNL’

If a dinosaur can do it, Bobby Moynihan should also be able to complete the America Ninja Warrior course, right? Yeah, about that… During last night’s Drake-hosted SNL, Moynihan played Beasley resident Jeff Metcalf. The small Texas town had been recently destroyed by a powerful tornado, so he decided to give back by training for ANW using the scraps that used to be his house. “I just wanted to show the people of Beasley that even when the chips are down, if you work hard and you put your mind to it, anything is possible.”

Except making it past three seconds during the obstacle course.

Despite his best intentions, Beasley, as his alter ego, Tornado, is a spectacular failure on ANW, immediately slipping and smashing his face on the first pad. He walks back to the two hosts, played by Beck Bennett and Drake, a dejected, embarrassed man, so they give him another shot. It doesn’t go any better than the first attempt, and it gets even worse when he tries for a third time. Apparently ninja warriors can’t walk across water. “American Ninja Warrior” is a remarkable bit of physical comedy from Moynihan, especially in the slow motion footage. Also, the sketch gave us Drake saying, “That tornado destroyed their home, but this Tornado destroyed their spirits, and showed its penis,” which is an automatic 10/10 in my Scorecard.