Ellen DeGeneres usually doesn’t talk about being gay on her titular talk show, because honestly, who cares? It’s not like Meredith Vieira discusses her “straight marriage” at length (probably? No one has ever actually seen The Meredith Vieira Show). She’s here, she’s queer, etc. But during yesterday’s show, Ellen took some time to respond to an anti-gay article written by “cultural commentator” Larry Tomczak in the Christian Post. The local news fear-mongering headline? “Are You Aware of the Avalanche of Gay Programming Assaulting Your Home?”
Here’s an excerpt from his list of “how Hollywood is promoting homosexuality right now”:
-Super-hyped Empire series starts with Oscar nominee Terrence Howard having a homosexual son – and he’s a hunk.
–Glee features over five gay characters.
–Modern Family features a gay couple who married over two episodes recently.
-Ellen DeGeneres celebrates her lesbianism and “marriage” in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls.
–The Good Wife now has a lesbian/bisexual investigator.
–Scandal has two gays.
–2 1/2 Men just added a lesbian daughter.
-Anderson Cooper boasts openly on TV he’d rather “have sex” with a man plus co-hosts New Year’s Eve festivities nationwide.
Anderson Cooper is gay?!? That’s the first I’ve heard of this. Anyway, Ellen responded first by knocking his use of air-quotes — “I’m not ‘married,’ I’m married” — before mocking the programming Larry watches. “If you ask me, Larry’s watching a lot of gay TV,” she joked.
“And, Larry, I don’t even know what it means to celebrate my lesbianism. I mean…Well, I guess I do,” DeGeneres said, setting off a popper. “Like that! Yay! I’m gay!”
It only gets better from there. Props are involved.