**hands suitcase to valet** “Take my wife… please.”
The Ryan Jenkins-suitcase-Dumpster Photoshop gets work for the third consecutive day, as police have formally charged the reality star with the murder of bikini model Jasmine Fiore. In case you’re late to the saga, Jenkins was a contestant on VH1’s “Megan Wants a Millionaire” who reportedly went on to win “I Love Money 3,” which has yet to air. He met Fiore in a Las Vegas strip club, married her two days later (it was later annulled), then she showed up strangled to death in a suitcase found in an Orange County Dumpster the day after he reported her missing — and also a day after she was getting texts from an ex-boyfriend. Full story here and here.
Phew. That’s a lot of back story, but I always enjoy re-telling it. Anyway, here are the new developments:
A police lieutenant said Fiore’s fingers and teeth had been removed, and prosecutors have asked that Jenkins be held on $10 million bail when he is found.
Authorities in Washington state said a man matching Jenkins’ description was seen boarding a boat bound for a remote area where it is possible to walk into Canada [Jenkins is from Alberta].
Yeeeeeee-ikes. **avoids eye contact with Canada, backs away slowly** That is some twisted stuff right there. I mean, it’s messed up enough to strangle someone to death, but you can at least be like, “Okay, crime of passion, it happens sometimes when people’s darker sides escape.” Removing the fingers and teeth of someone you murdered with your bare (or possibly gloved) hands? Dude, that takes a sick mind and an iron stomach. Uh, or so I would assume. As always, the lesson to be learned here is: always have a pre-dug grave in an isolated spot, just in case.