A Florida Town Is Being Terrorized By Angry Chickens And The Local News Report Is Perfect

A Florida neighborhood has been taken over by almost a dozen angry chickens who are crowing all night and displaying aggressive behavior towards the residents and their pets. That is not the story here. The gang of chickens is being led one extremely large, extremely territorial rooster who “just goes charging,” in the words of one concerned citizen. Interesting, but also not the story here.

No, the story here is the pun-laden story itself, as put together by Fort Myers’s local Fox affiliate. Especially the part I have screencapped above, in which a bearded, shirtless man explains the situation into the business end of a wireless microphone pack that has been slung over his shoulder, because, again, he is giving this interview, to the news, sans shirt. Please also note the on-screen graphic, which contains the sic’d phrase “Harrassed By Chickens.” Lily = Gilded.

(via Fox 4)