The correct answer to the age-old conversation starter “What would you bring with you if were stuck on a deserted island?” is “A speedboat, you idiot.” Let’s be very clear about that. Deserted islands seem very lonely and boring, and, to the best of my knowledge, do not have drive-thru Dunkin Donuts franchises from which one can pick up coffee in the morning. That will not do at all. So, please, one (1) speedboat, with a full tank of gas. And maybe a book titled How To Drive A Speedboat For Dummies. And a boombox with the cassingle of the Miami Vice theme song inside it, so I can pretend I’m Sonny Crockett as I bounce across the open seas on a hunt for dry land and caffeinated beverages. That’s all, if it’s not too much trouble. Or just don’t leave me stranded on a deserted in the first place. Either way.
But exploiting a loophole and calling someone an idiot is probably not the best way to kick off what is intended to be a fun little thought experiment, so let’s set some parameters and try not to be jerks. Here are the rules for our deserted island game. READ THEM. READ THE RULES.
- You are stranded on a deserted island in the Pacific. In the middle of the island, in a small lagoon that is protected from the elements, is a television and a DVD player.
- There is no explanation for where the electricity to power them comes from. They just work. And every time you start looking into it the power flickers and shuts off. Just accept it and move on.
- There is a note on the TV that says “You may select the complete DVD collection of any one (1) television drama and any one (1) television comedy, but no Sopranos and no Simpsons. You may also request one (1) miscellaneous item of your choosing, provided it will not be used to help you escape the island. (No speedboats, jackass.)”
- The items all appear by magic the next morning.
- Food and water are available in abundance.
So, what do you choose? What dooooooo you choose? I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and I think my choices would be Law & Order (tons of episodes, easily rewatchable) and The Bugs Bunny Show (1000 episodes of Looney Tunes seems like an excellent way to fritter away your life while marooned on a God forsaken hunk of dirt in the middle of nowhere) on the TV front, and my miscellaneous item would probably be a deck of cards. I imagine I’ll go insane and develop multiple wacky personalities at some point. Might as well get a weekly poker night going for the whole gang.
Your choices below. Feel free to update and amend as you see fit, defend your selections, and talk it out amongst yourselves. It’s not like I’m actually going to show up later day, kidnap you, and leave you on that island. Or am I?