The First Footage From Lifetime’s ‘Unauthorized Full House Story’ Is Out

Sorry, True Detective, Rick and Morty, and Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Tara Reid Is Putting Food From Craft Services Into Her Purse Again. But the most anticipated TV event of the summer is The Unauthorized Full House Story, Lifetime’s tasteful exposé on the long-running TGIF series that caused America to stop and wonder, is it morally acceptable to revile a small child?

The answer is yes, very much so.

The original movie is set to premiere on August 22, and Lifetime just released a teaser, which you can see below, and the first clip. The not-Joey is sleepwalking with not-Michelle, who takes a mid-scene dump. How nice of her to review The Unauthorized Full House Story before it even screens for critics. I’m not sure if there’s such a thing as a Full House purist, but if there is, they’re going to be infuriated that the cast looks like the original Tanners and the house is flipped.

I don’t know why I’m furious about that, but I am. If they make Stavros Italian, I’m gonna riot.

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