Game of Thrones Teaser Trailer: Needs More Tyrion B*tch-Slapping Joffrey

Did you hear that? That’s the sound of your underpants as you lose your sh*t: The teaser trailer for the season two of HBO’s fantasy series “Game of Thrones” has arrived and while it doesn’t offer much in the way of substance, there’s plenty here to get your tingly bits tingling and keep you sated until April 12th when the season debuts. Basically, it’s a series of shots of the usual dudes and dudettes, plus some voice over narration from a guy who claims the Iron Throne rightfully belongs to him. The voice is likely that of Stannis Baratheon (new cast member Stephen Dillane), the brother of daisy-pusher, Robert. The “Winter is Coming” tagline has also been replaced by the decidedly less catchy, “The Cold Winds are Rising,” which so far has no sexual connotations that I can exploit. What it’s missing, unfortunately, are multiple scenes of Tyrion b*tch-slapping Joffrey as well as shots of Daenerys and her lesbian lover riding a Unicorn topless in the clouds. But I think that’s in Season Three, anyway. I’m sure the all smug book readers will tell us all about it, WON’T YOU?