Is there any artform less appreciated than the quick episode summaries released by networks to describe the show in TV Guide or your cable provider’s digital schedule? The things are often shorter than a tweet and need to be able to capture the essence of an hour long drama. That’s a near impossible feat, so it should be no surprise that some get so vague that they almost become parodies of themselves.
No show took a more tongue-in-cheek approach to the vague episode summary than AMC’s Mad Men. Rather than try to accurately pin down the difficult themes and personal issues being dealt with in any given episode, the people behind the show instead decided they’d rather oversimplify things to a hilarious degree.
That gives you an idea of what we’re talking about, but you should check out Brian Grubb’s loving tribute to the best Mad Men episode summaries if you want to see how far down the absurd rabbit hole they get.
And now it looks like Game of Thrones is taking a page out of the Mad Men books when it comes to their own episode summaries. They obviously don’t want to give away too much about an episode before it airs. At the same time, they do need to provide something that shows up when we press the Info button on our remote controls. Vagueness ensues.
Here’s what they have for episode two of season six:
“Bran trains with the Three-Eyed Raven. In King’s Landing, Jaime advises Tommen. Tyrion demands good news, but has to make his own. At Castle Black, the Night’s Watch stands behind Thorne. Ramsay Bolton proposes a plan, and Balon Greyjoy entertains other proposals.”
Episode three is even more vague:
“Daenerys meets her future. Bran meets the past. Tommen confronts the High Sparrow. Arya trains to be No One. Varys finds an answer. Ramsay gets a gift.”
“Tyrion demands good news, but has to make his own” sounds like something you’d see on the Trinity network. And what proposal was Balon Greyjoy entertaining in the first place? He hasn’t even been on the show for two seasons! I’m extra interested in learning what kind of gift Ramsay gets. Everyone knows he’s a pretty good gift giver so I hope whoever is finally returning the favor lives up to his past standard.
No one wants to get spoiled by an episode synopsis, so here’s hoping Game of Thrones keeps it up with these borderline useless descriptions. Maybe they’ll even inject a little more Mad Men mirth into the mix.
“Grey Worm and Missendei struggle with love.”
“Cercei deals with feelings of anger.”
“Theon adjusts to his new lifestyle.”
“PMS tears Dorne apart.”