Good Luck Trying To Deduce Anything From The Latest ‘Game Of Thrones’ Episode Descriptions

Episode descriptions are a tricky thing. On one hand, you want to give viewers a little tease, a little wetting of the beak, to get them excited for the events that are about to transpire. On the other hand, you don’t want to give away too much of the plot because you want to save it for the episode itself. Game of Thrones has been taking that caution to borderline hilarious extremes in its sixth season, and the show just went and did it again with its latest round of descriptions for the fourth and fifth episodes.

Per an official press release from HBO, episode four is titled “Book of the Stranger,” and is described thusly.

Tyrion strikes a deal. Jorah and Daario undertake a difficult task. Jaime and Cersei try to improve their situation.

“Jorah and Daario undertake a difficult task.” God, that’s great. It could mean almost anything. They could be building someone a deck! You have no way to disprove that.

The fifth episode, titled “The Door,” is even better.

Tyrion seeks a strange ally. Bran learns a great deal. Brienne goes on a mission. Arya is given a chance to prove herself.

“Bran learns a great deal” doesn’t quite rise to the level of the Mad Men classic “Don has difficulties,” but they’re getting closer. By the season finale they might just go all-in and use, “Events happen.” Good luck sucking potential spoilers out of that, jerks!