Like last year: please contain all discussions of books three, four, and five to the SPOILER SECTION in the comments, otherwise you will be banned and everyone will hate you. You’ll be a Joffrey, without a Margaery.
“Walk of Punishment” was Game of Thrones at its near best. There was violence! Tyrion acting all quippy! An archer who couldn’t hit his target of a dead man floating down a river! A Hold Steady song! A new location! A fairly humanizing moment for Talisa! Boobs! An entire scene about how big Pod’s dick is! A loaf of bread in the shape of a direwolf! Arya acting too big for britches! Mance declaring war! Melisandre on the hunt for blood! A bunch of horse heads laid out in the pattern of hurricane clip art in the snow! Power moves courtesy of Cersei and Tyrion in front of their forever disapproving father! Daenerys buying thousands and thousands of slaves! Lord Twat Beard!
If you didn’t like “Walk of Punishment,” you don’t like awesome things. Now onto the GIF recap.
History, my friends: this is the first known instance of laughter outside of King’s Landing. (Via)
Not much time has been spent on establishing who the Tullys are (yet). But this five-minute scene told you everything you need to know about the differences between the well meaning, yet clumsy Edmure and hardened, gruff Brynden the Blackfish. Also, the Tullys have the best armor on the show. (Via)
Gus Johnson Narrates Game of Thrones: “The council gathers around Tywin and…what’s Cersei doing?
OH MY GOD SHE’S MAKING A POWER MOVE NOT SEEN SINCE THE DAYS OF PRINCE ROHEN THE RECLINER. Man was he fat.
What a risky decision that paid off handsomely. She lays slayers and moves chairs with flair. Wait. He wouldn’t. Do, do my eyes deceive me? YES, TYRION, THE IMP IN PIMP, DON’T CALL HIM A DWARF ‘CAUSE HE’S BIGGER THAN YOU WHERE IT COUNTS, IS MOVING HIS CHAIR, TOO. IN THE GAME OF CHAIRS, YOU WIN OR YOU DIE OR YOU SIT DOWN COMFORTABLY IN A BETTER SPOT.”
Tyrion’s the best. (Via)
Your Attractive Women of Game of Thrones Power Rankings goes thusly: 1) Daenerys, 2) Cersei (I love a good self-satisfied smirk), 3) That girl who did that thing for Podrick, 4) Missandei, 5) Talisa.
Hot Pie’s dragon biscuits are known the world over, too. This scene was so charming and perfect, and one costume swap from “rags” to “tweed” away from being the best Wes Anderson movie yet, with Bill Murray as the Hound. (Via)
I’ll miss you most of all, Hot Pie. (Via)
Squires, the interns of the..whatever century Game of Thrones takes place in. (Via)
More like the ladies are in dick…pain. Yeah. So, whatcha think: one massive penis or three normal-sized penises? My gold’s on the latter. All of the Podrick stuff was fantastic — it’s not often you see Bronn impressed by anything other than his dirty reflection — but I’m worried. Things are going too well for the not-so-little squire, and whenever anything’s coming up [Game of Thrones character], it usually means something bad’s going to happen to them. Just ask Jaime, who had a brief moment of triumph before the sword of Damocles fell…we’ll get to that. (Via)
Tyrion’s the best, part II. And a pervert. (Via)
The best thing about Theon’s story had nothing to do with Theon. An ass is an ass is an ass. (Via)
“…as is the fifth and final series of Misfits.” (Via)
Couldn’t find a GIF of Gilly giving birth. SORRY. Anyway, that baby has about as much of a chance of celebrating his first birthday if he stays in Craster’s Keep as Gilly does of getting her own movie. I prefer the baby murder. (Via)
Yes, Dany, we ALL know you have dragons. We’ve seen the memes…
You can actually pin-point the second when Ser Jorah’s heart rips in half. (Via)
Damn. It’s a question I ask myself every day: trade one of your three dragons for an entire army of trained-from-birth slaves? Daenerys seems to think it’s a good deal; then again, she lives her life by WWMLD, or What Would Meat Loaf Do? Still, it feels like there’s more happening here than what appears on the surface — no one in their right mind would give this little guy up, no matter how many bloody nipples you may receive in return.
Women In Great TV Dramas Smiling As They Walk Away dot Tumblr dot Com. (Via)
Women On TV Eyerolls dot Tumblr dot Com (Cersei’s “oh brother” is very different than Liz’s, though). (Via)
Someone set this to a Slayer song NOW. (Via)
Get ’em all out now. Hey Jaime, can you lend me a HAND? *puts Jaime’s hand in my pocket* Look, look, I’m an Alanis Morissete song! Oh, Jaime, you brown-eyed hand-none man. Hand’s off, this is the worst day I can ever remember. *picks up Jaime’s hand* This is my favorite Explosions in the Sky song. Must be hard to handle that sword, consider you have no hand and all. I want to hold your hand…let me just wipe off the blood first.
And I’m spent (and Jaime’s f*cked). Here’s a dancing bear. (Via)
So fair. (Via)