So I don’t know if you guys can even tell, but if you look very closely at that banner picture, you may notice that the video footage on the monitor over the news anchor’s right shoulder has been replaced with a very lifelike artist’s rendering that I just drew in MS Paint. There is a good reason for this: That monitor was playing a rather graphic scene from a softcore porn film, and unlike Greece’s state-owned public television station ET3, apparently, we here at UPROXX can’t just be showing a bunch of ding dongs and hoo-has and tatas. I can’t even embed the YouTube video — which is here, for the record — even though you really can’t see anything unless you put your face like two inches from your computer and are willing to let your imagination be your guide. I’m sorry. There are rules, and I don’t want to break them, because I like my job.
BUT, I really don’t think the fine folks who advertise their quality products and services on the UPROXX network (“UPROXX, The Culture Of What’s Buzzing”) will have an issue with a tiny blond stick figure that I didn’t even draw nipples on, so that’s what we’re gonna go with, I guess. Life is about compromise.
Anyway, the lesson here is threefold: 1) Greece is very good at television. 2) I am very good at art. 3) The Puritans ruined everything.
