Bill Hader Says There Will Never Be A Stefon Movie

One of the reasons Bill Hader’s Stefon character is so great is because he hasn’t been stretched paper-thin and rammed down the audience’s throat. He pops up three or four times a season, max, for a couple minutes at a time, and absolutely slays. Contrast that with, say, “The Californians,” which was really funny the first time it aired, and now feels like a six-minute anchor dragging the show to the bottom of the sea every time the opening guitar riff plays. No, Stefon is an assassin. He shows up. He kills quickly. He disappears.

And according to an interview Bill Hader did for GQ’s comedy issue, it looks like it’s going to stay that way, as the departing SNL cast member says he has no plans to ever do a Stefon movie.

There’s no emotional through line. Sometimes people say to me “I want a Stefon movie” and I’m like, you think you want a Stefon movie but then you’ll see the poster for it and think: “Wait, I don’t want this.”

This is an excellent point. It’s like saying “You know what I love? Milkshakes. I wish I had a five gallon milkshake. I would drink the whole thing right now,” and having a genie overhear you and POOF! now you’ve got a five gallon milkshake in front of you. Except you didn’t really want that. You just like milkshakes so much because you get a medium one like once a month when you’re really craving it, and milkshakes are basically the most delicious and best things possible. But even though you love them, if you try to finish the super-sized vat of flavored dairy products sitting in front of you, you will end up very, very sick.

The point is that I like milkshakes.