Sorry, but we had to burn the puppies.
Yesterday in rumor-mongering, Radar Online reported that David Hasselhoff — Germany’s sweetheart, America’s benign tumor — was hospitalized over the weekend for alcohol poisoning when his daughter and ex-wife Pamela Bach checked him in with a .39 blood-alcohol level. Which, if true, exceeds “German drunk” and blazes straight into Irish territory. Slainte!
But not so fast. According to TMZ, this is all an evil plot by Bach to make the Hoff look bad in court. Although how it could make him look worse than his version of Hooked on a Feeling, I have no idea.
[Hasselhoff] was admitted to the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles on Saturday night – with reports claiming he was in a serious condition. […]
But Hasselhoff’s representatives insist the incident was not serious, revealing the star was quickly discharged and spent Sunday night celebrating his father’s birthday. [source]
What’s real? What’s fake? Truth? Fiction? I don’t know, gentle readers. In these uncertain times, the only solace we can find is in LIFE Magazine photos from decades past. Just look at the Hoff in the ’80s! Hollywood’s Golden Age, that was. Assuming “Golden” means “bad.”