T.J. Miller previously stated that his upcoming Shock Top ad was “the greatest Super Bowl commercial of all-time,” but imma stop you right there, T.J., because Heinz has just debuted their 2016 Super Bowl offering, “Wiener Stampede.” Like any good Super Bowl commercial, the spot — which features a pack of hot dog costume-wearing wiener dogs racing through a field toward people dressed as Heinz’ various ketchup and mustard varieties — has little to do with the actual product itself.
I mean, I guess you can see the different varieties on the costume packaging, but who is paying to that when there is A PACK OF WIENER DOGS RUNNING THROUGH A FIELD DRESSED LIKE HOT DOGS?! No one is paying attention to that, that’s who. No one. I’ll even go so far as to forgive them for the suggestion that ketchup isn’t a total abomination to put on hot dogs for this.