Here Are The Most Insightful Words of Wisdom From Coach McGuirk Of ‘Home Movies’

The excellent work of H. Jon Benjamin is most commonly associated these days with the voice of Archer from Archer and Bob from Bob’s Burgers. But long before all that, he voiced the excellent Coach McGurk, the alcoholic soccer coach of the boy named Brendon from Home Movies. (Which you can now watch for free at Shout Factory TV.)

Coach McGurk may have been a down-on-his-luck, bad-with-women deadbeat, but that didn’t mean the wisdom he imparted on young Brendon — in the absence of a father — wasn’t completely legit. So, we’ve put together some of Coach McGurk’s most teachable moments and words of wisdom, which hold up every bit as true today as it did when the series aired over a decade ago.

First of all, life sucks:

How women are like grapes:

Just because somebody may be the best at something, that doesn’t mean you can’t cheat and beat them:

There’s no such thing as psychology. It’s all just made up crap:

Cursing is a sign of ignorance, UNLESS you know how to do it right:

How we all live in our own prisons:

You don’t have to say words before you say them:

Not making the same mistakes:

You have a whole life to be miserable:

Anybody can win, but the next thing you know, you’re losers again: