Here’s The First Clip From Farrah Abraham’s Totally Real ‘Sex Tape,’ If You Dare

So, remember the stupid not-porno that Teen Mom‘s Farrah Abraham made with James Deen that sold for $1 million, invalidating your life choices that haven’t involved getting paid stupid amounts of money to get naked? Well, the first clip from Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom (to be filed between EXXX-Stream Dating and Here Cums Honey Boobs Boobs) is online now, and if you love sentences that end with “baby,” it’s the “sex tape” for you.

From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too! (Via)

Making fun of sex tape dialogue is about as easy as, well, Farrah Abraham, but I can’t resist.

-“What the hell, did you wear armor today?” “I wore pants.”
-“I think these buttons are going to take me forever.”
-“Do you know how buttons works?” “I don’t, not today, no. I forgot my brain when I came to hang out with you.”
-“The first thing we’re going to do is anal?”
-“My ass is shy.”

And so on. We obviously can’t embed the clip, but Gawker has it here. I will give Farrah credit for one thing: she supplies her daughter Sophia with only the finest furniture with dogs wearing crowns painted on it.

Teen mom…of the year.

Farrah Abraham Updates:
Farrah Abraham’s New Song ‘BLOWIN’ Is Everything You’d Expect From A Teen Mom Porn Star
‘Teen Mom’ Farrah Abraham Has Taken A Vow Of Celibacy Because Of Course She Has
10 Celebrities With Porn Backgrounds Who Prove There Could Be Hope For Teen Mom Farrah Abraham
The Trailer For Not-Sex Tape ‘Farrah 2: Backdoor And More’ Is Here
Former ‘Teen Mom’ Star Farrah Abraham Feels Sex Tape Ruined Her Life
So Farrah Abraham Is Writing A ‘Christian Parenting Book’
Farrah Abraham Still Doesn’t Know The Difference Between A Sex Tape And A Porno
‘Teen Mom’ Farrah Abraham Hit With Legal Letter By Vivid After She Says She Was Drugged And Raped
10 Celebrities With Porn Backgrounds Who Prove There Could Be Hope For Teen Mom Farrah Abraham

(Via Gawker)