Frank Underwood is many things. He is the president on House of Cards. He is a devious political schemer. He is a sociopath who is personally responsible for so many murders that he’s teetering on the edge of being a serial killer. And now, in the fourth season, we learned something else about him: He is just god-awful at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Spoiler-free background: About two-thirds of the way through episode two of the fourth season, with the usual amount of double-crosses and triple-crosses bouncing around in his head, Frank heads down to the White House kitchen to make himself a sandwich. After putting a relatively normal amount of peanut butter on the bread (a few knifefuls, for a nice even coating), he unscrews the jar of jelly or jam and does this…
That is not enough jelly. That is not nearly enough jelly. Look at it toward the end of the GIF. It’s such a thin layer that it’s practically transparent. Like, think about how that sandwich would taste. Think about how it would feel in your mouth, all dry bread and peanut butter mushing around, sticking to the roof of your mouth. He put the jelly on the PB&J the way you put mustard on a ham and cheese. I have watched this GIF maybe 100 times since Saturday and it has infuriated me every time. How do you even get to be his age without learning how to make a better sandwich than this? I just want to jump into the screen and put two to three more globs on the bread to correct the ratio and scream, “See? Like this” at him. It’s driving me that insane. It might honestly be the worst thing he’s ever done on the show.
I mean, besides all those murders.