It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has done wonders for humanity’s daily vocabulary. Much like Seinfeld, Always Sunny can introduce a new term or phrase in an episode, and you’ll finally have a way to describe your last brown out or flip cup competition. Here are some of the best entries that our favorite depraved alcoholics have taught us.
“Cultivating Mass” (verb) – Gaining Weight
This is a great one to deflect any comments about your current state after the holidays. Mac (or Big Fat Mac) tells Dennis that he’s not gaining weight, he’s “cultivating mass,” which is at least an original way of justifying carrying around a bag of tacos and looking like a chimichanga. Plus, you also get another way of saying that you’re losing weight.
“Troll Toll” (noun) – A Fee
Have a particularly heinous act you wanna commit? You gotta pay the troll toll (hey hey heyyyy). Okay, so it doesn’t have to be a tasteful rape scene per se, but whatever it is, it probably makes you a bad person if you’re paying it.
“Brown Out” (verb) – To Have Hazy Memories
For when you’re not full-on blacking out but still have confusion over what exactly happened the night before. Browning out is a useful phrase, especially when you’re browning out as much as the Paddy’s crew.
“Salt The Snail” (verb) – To Chase Out An Unwanted Visitor
Sure, you have to actually throw food at the visitor to make them leave, but the fault is really on them in the first place. I mean, how dare they make you do that? Salting a snail in your own life should only be a last-ditch effort, though, for those who refuse to leave and/or push raves on you.
“Charlie Work” (noun) – Menial Labor
Everyone has that one coworker that you dump all the worst jobs onto. That person is doing Charlie Work. You should be careful, however, as Charlie Work takes its toll on the Charlier Worker. The more rats they bash, the more psychological rats in their mind are also getting bashed.
“Rock, Flag, And Eagle” (noun) – A Motivational Chant For America
In case your love of the great U.S. of A. comes into question, just trust your denim jacket and remember the wise words of Charlie Kelly: Rock, Flag, and Eagle. Sure it doesn’t make sense, but when has that ever stopped patriotism?
“Three Best Friends” (noun) – The Two People Who’ll Stick By You
Your gang might have more than three in it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have your favorites. Is there an older member? Do you have a bird-like friend who always noses their way in? Then they aren’t a part of the real “gang.” You guys are the three best friends.
“Kitten Mittens” (noun) – Mittens For Cats
It’s an idea so revolutionary and ahead of its time, and not just because it rhymes (which is half the battle with an invention). There are kitten mittens everywhere. You’re reading on a kitten mitten-type idea right now.
“Wild Card” (noun) – An Unexpected Occurrence
Examples include Scooby Doo and Bill Murray in Ghostbusters. You should use this phrase at the climax of a spontaneous act, to let the rest of your group know that you’re not a bad person, you’re just the Wild Card. I’d hold off on cutting your friends’ brakes, though, but I guess that’s why I’m not a wild card.