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For someone who didn’t have sex with Lindsay Lohan, freaky geek James Franco is certainly fascinated with having sex with Lindsay Lohan. On top of his ostensible day job as an actor (he’s going to be in over 12 MOVIES this year), Franco has dicknosed his way into the literary field, too — he’s a published author, and yesterday, a piece of his, entitled “Bungalow 89,” was on the cocaine minefield that is Vice. It’s apparently fiction, except for the times when he refers to a “Hollywood girl” as “Lindsay.”
Once upon a time a guy, a Hollywood guy, read some Salinger to a young woman who hadn’t read him before. Let’s call this girl Lindsay. She was a Hollywood girl, but a damaged one. I knew that she would like Salinger, because most young women do. I read her two of the Nine Stories, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” and “For Esmé — with Love and Squalor.” “Bananafish” was great because it has a nagging mother on the other end of the phone line, nothing like Lindsay’s real mother, but still, the mother-daughter thing was good for her to hear. And there’s the little girl in the story, Sibyl, and the pale suicide, Seymour, who kisses her foot and talks about bananafish with her, those fantastic phallic fish who stick their heads in holes and gorge themselves—it should be called “A Perfect Day for Dickfish” — and then, bam, he shoots himself. (Via)
Woah, like, deep, man.
For nine months, while they fixed my house, I was staying in the bungalows. First in 82, next to the little Buddha in the long, trickling fountain. Lindsay Lohan was there too. The Chateau was her home, and the staff were her servants. She got my room key. One night she came in at 3 AM. I woke up on the couch, trying not to look surprised. Instead of f*cking her, I read her a short story about a neglected daughter.
Franco’s fiction is on the level of every oversensitive essay I heard read out loud in my freshman year creative writing course. It’s no wonder he likes to get friendly with teenage girls.
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Jeez Franco. This is sounding awful defensive. And did anyone really care?
And even if you did, if it was Herbie Fully Loaded Lohan, I totally understand.
That’s the rub… it was Older Nasty Skeletor Lohan.
Nobody’s gonna deny banging her back when she was hot! Hell, Valderama has been bragging he gave her the clap for years now.
I can see Franco putting on a Bill Clinton rubber mask and saying “I did NOT have sex with that woman.”
And then posts a Vine of himself cumming on the mask.
The only reason I can figure out that he’s denying it so strenuously is that women are refusing to have sex with him because they think he must have caught an STD from LiLo.
Wasn’t one of the jokes he made in This Is The End that he “had sex with Lindsay Lohan”?
…I choose to believe that was a true admission of guilt, because I also choose to believe that Michael Cera is a coked up perverted asshole.
“She thought I was Jake Gyllenhaal. It was weird.”
The more Franco denies this the more I’m pretty sure she hit that in a multitude of ways. Just let it be, Franco.
Best banner pic possible for any Lindsay Lohan story.
Yeah, good job on pinpointing the exact pinnacle of Lohan’s hotness with the banner pick. I remember seeing that sketch and being like “gawtDAM!”
It’s sad that she peaked at age 18. Maybe she can still turn her life around. Then again, I’m not the one who can get paid to drink at a bar, so who won the game of life?
Stealing this story from Dicknose Mancini is a travesty.
Hah! I believed this was true until “A Perfect Day for Dickfish”. Then I was sure you were just playing us.