Jersey Shore (MTV) — Season finale. Hard to get too broken up about a season finale knowing that a third season has already finished filming and that the Guidos are going to stay in the news cycle with books and turning down Playboy and the usual gamut of rumors.
Real Housewives of D.C. (Bravo) — The supposed season finale was two weeks ago. So why is this still on? Because this is part two of the reunion. I will never stop being disappointed in anyone who watches these shows.
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) — The residents are put in charge of Seattle Grace, because the surgeons are competing for a million-dollar grant. Ooohhh, sounds exciting! I hope a hunky male doctor is interested in a plain-looking female doctor!
30 Rock/The Office (NBC) — Kelsey Grammer guest stars as himself; Timothy Olyphant comes to Dunder-Mifflin as a paper salesman. A badass paper salesman.
Project Runway (Lifetime) — I feel bad for not watching this season when I’ve enjoyed it so much in the past, but 90 minutes is just too much damn time to commit to a reality show. I’ve got too much other stuff to do at night. I have weights to lift and whiskey to drink and other shows to watch and dogs to Photoshop into pictures. I’m a busy man.
Night of Too Many Stars (Comedy Central) — Jon Stewart hosts this benefit for autism education. I don’t know if it’s to educate people about autism, or to educate actual autistic children. But whatever, it’s got all those funny people you like.