Jon Stewart opened last night’s Daily Show by discussing the unfortunate series of events that took place in a Dallas suburb over the weekend, in which a cop on a rampage pulled a gun on unarmed teens and forcibly shoved a young girl to the ground. In his usual fashion that we’re all going to miss, Stewart quickly pointed out the hypocrisy of the officer telling the girl to “get her ass on the ground” because, technically, she was already on the ground. So, “not only is he being an asshole, he’s redundant.”
In the second clip, Stewart then turned it over to Senior Texas Aquatic Correspondent Jessica Williams (modeling a “McKinney Bikini”) who said: “When you go to a pool party, even in your own neighborhood that you live in, you have to know pool etiquette. Which is no running, no splashing, no talking back, and — if at all possible — get your ass even further into the ground than it is.” Maybe the Texas board of tourism should somehow incorporate that into their marketing.
(Via Comedy Central)