Kelly Ripa Is Not Here To Make Friends, She’s Here To Be A Mom

Kelly Ripa is a tough, but fair mother. She’s not out to be friends with her kids, she’s more worried about being a mother and that means teaching rules and punishing them when she needs to. She’s tough, stern, a cruel taskmaster. Kinda makes you worry about poor Michael Strahan and how he gets treated backstage. The lady is a fireball.

She demonstrated her cruel ways on The Wendy Williams Show, recounting the last time she had to punish her daughter for breaking the rules. From ABC:

“I don’t think she likes me, but I don’t care. I’m like, ‘I’m not your friend, I’m your mom,'” Ripa told Wendy Williams. “I just feel an obligation as her mom to keep her living in the real world. I don’t care who you are or what you do, if you’re a mom, you’re a mom.”

Ripa, 44, explained that not only is she a source of embarrassment for her teen, but recently, she and her husband, Mark Consuelos, were forced to punish their daughter. Ripa said she revoked their daughter’s phone and Internet privileges because she was using her phone when she was supposed to be studying Spanish.

“She broke the rules,” Ripa said, before getting a little less serious. “I’m like, ‘You’re half-Mexican. Your grandmother is a Spanish teacher. You’re not allowed to fail Spanish. It’s the one thing you’re not allowed to fail!'”

She’s a brute. Revoking phone and Internet privileges. Does she think he’s a member of the Stasi? And I suppose she believes that all half-Mexican children are born with language genes and a fistful of cilantro.

I think she needs to check herself, buy a few more useless trophies for her children, and then coddle them to the point of obscurity and constant therapy. All she’s doing is leading these kids down a road of respect for the rules, obedience to society, and realistic expectations. Like a rube.

That said, buy my new parenting book and reflection on being a father. It’s called Drinking In A Locked Bathroom and I’m selling it out of the trunk of my car.

(Via ABC News / Wendy Williams)